Giving From the Heart

I think this is one of the things that has drawn me to Compassionate Communication the most. There is nothing more painful for me than to be given something with strings attached. And there is nothing more wonderful to be given too than when someone is offering something from their heart.

In the workbook there is a story about a older man giving an orange to a small child.  And when Marshal asks the man about it. his response is "I have lived for sixty-five years, and if there is one thing I have learned, it is never to give unless I give from the heart."

In looking back at my life, I see this has happened some in my life. My Father gave me lots of money when I was in college without asking for anything in return. He also didn't ask for my college transcripts to prove that I was doing well.  Even though I didn't finish college and get a degree I have always been really grateful to him for providing me with the classes that I got to take.  I think it was one of the few times in my life when I felt truly given to.  I have a deep gratitude to him for this. Although I don't know how to converse with him about it.

I also feel sad when I start to answer this question because what I seem to remember is all the times that I have been given things with attachments. Usually ones that were not told to me in the beginning or given the ability to say yes I am willing to give this to you or no I am not. As I think about the topic I can also realize that there have been lots of times that I have given with attachments and some times that I have given without attachment.  It seems strange but it has been easier in my life to give to strangers without attachment than those I love. This is another reason that I am choosing to spend time studying NVC.  I want all of my giving to be free flowing from the heart. Especially to my family and friends who I love dearly.  I want to be able to know myself so wholely and completely that I will never again even by accident give something to someone with an attachment. I know this is me at my most Idealistic. So please read it that way.  I am human so I know that mistakes will be made. But if I don't try then I can't possible ever get it right. :)


I most hope that my children will see the change in me and see me for my most loving self. That they will be able to know that even if I have made mistakes that I have loved them with all of my heart and soul.

I also hope for the world that people will see that there is another way to live than to punish each other for the mistakes that we make. That we can get our needs met without demanding that others met them and without cost to them or ourselves. 

I am using Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook by Lucy Leu

Purchased @  http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/ which as of Jan 7 2012 is having a sale on the Social Change Package to benefit the Occupy Movement.

I would be grateful to hear about times in your life that you have experienced Giving from the Heart in the comments.

In the Begining

I am starting a journey. I want to be able to show others Radical Compassion. I think the way to do this is to have Self Empathy.  I will be following the book Nonviolent Communication : A Language Of Life  by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. and also Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook by Lucy Leu. 


This blog is really just for myself.
I am publishing it on the web in hopes that people who are interested in doing this with me will find it supportive and also I am hoping that people who are interested in the ideas of Peace and Compassionate Communication will find me.

"What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart"  -Marshall Rosenberg

This quote reminds me of  learning as a young child that trees breathe in what we breathe out.  And I was so amazed by this that I started to breathe on trees and breathing in near them.  I want this kind of relationship in my life not just from trees but from people too.